The Thursday Update

AUGUST 21, 2025

Lakeshore Friends,

In less than two weeks, my wife and I will celebrate 40 years of marriage. It’s hard to believe that well over half our life ago, two young Christians pledged our love to each other for life. And by God’s grace we have had a great marriage, at least I think so. 😊

But our marriage, like all marriages, has required lots of hard work. It’s also required so much more from both Sue and me than we fully realized back on that Saturday in late August 1985. Sacrifice, apologies, surrendering, forgiving, and pride swallowing have been a part of my role as a husband. By the grace of God, we’ve done what we needed to do to keep our love alive.

So often, we get the Hollywood, fairytale narrative of romance and marriage. It goes something like this. Love at first sight. Expensive dates together every night for a year. Laughing and loving each other as we talk about life, agreeing on almost everything we discuss. Never having to argue or fight because everything is just flowing so easily. Then we get married, thinking that all our problems will now go away. We have kids, buy a house, never have financial problems, keep agreeing on everything, never arguing, and the like. Then we retire together and live to 100. It starts so easy, operates easily, and ends happily ever after with few problems to speak of.

While I wish that were true, it’s not.

Unfortunately, it's easy to glamorize marriage as the cure for all our desires for happiness, not realizing how hard it is and how much work it takes to create a great marriage. One line I have used in many wedding ceremonies that I have performed is that, “Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly…” How true that is. Or, as one person put it, “Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye opener!” How true.

I’m excited to talk about how to marry well from Proverbs on Sunday. I want to both explore the myths of an easy marriage and yet provide the skills needed to make sure you marry the best person you can and stay married to them for all the days of your life. That’s no easy task, but it is very possible when we apply what Proverbs says to our romantic and marital lives.

I hope you’ll be here on Sunday, no matter where you are in this incredible pursuit.

Warmly,
Vince