The Thursday Update

APRIL 25, 2024

Lakeshore Friends—

Some things we do as parents should be written in pen and be permanent.  We should always say that honesty is good and lying is wrong.  We should teach that love is the best answer to hate from others.  We should always stand on the fact that God wants a relationship with us, and that it is only offered through faith in Jesus Christ.  I never want to communicate anything different than those truths. 

But there are other things we do as parents that should be written in pencil.  Those are the times we try to do what’s best as parents, but we can’t really be sure they are what’s best.  The good thing about pencils is that they have erasers on the other end.  Make a mistake and all you do is recognize it and then erase it away.  I always want to be humble enough to admit my mistakes.

The best parents have the courage to know when they are parenting in pen and when a pencil is more appropriate.  That’s because we all make mistakes as parents.

That’s a little bit of what I shared last Sunday and I just wanted us to think about this a little deeper, especially in the way we parent children as well as the way we treat others (in a broader sense).  To help you think through this, I thought I’d toss out a few questions for you to consider— with your pen and pencil handy:

1. Are you willing to forgive your parents (or others) for the things they did to you by using your “eraser” to remove their “pencil-like” mistakes against you? Honoring your parents is one of God’s ten commandments, and if you will forgive them (even if they don’t deserve it) God promises to bless your life (Ephesians 6:2-3). 

2. Are you careful about what you write in permanent ink as you teach your children right and wrong? Know what truths you’re willing to die for and what ones you’re not.  Focus your parenting on the former, not the latter.

3. Do you let your kids write with “pencils” and allow them to use their “erasers” when needed? Allow your kids to make safe mistakes and learn from life on their own.  Give them room to try, to succeed, and yes, even to fail.  Give them gradual but controlled measures of independence as they grow up.

Parenting will humble us.  So will relationships with all kinds of people.  The more we stand on what is right (by using our “pens”) and extend grace where we can (by using our “pencils”) with our kids and with others, the more we will be successful in dealing with both.

Warmly,
Vince