Life Lifters | Lakeshore Community Church

Jun 11 8:14 AM

Our Deepest Relational Need

Jun 11 8:14 AM

Friday, June 11, 2021

You have to realize that relationships have limits. You say, "But Vince, if relationships have limits and I have love-needs, and they can't meet my love needs, then where do I turn?"

Friday, June 11, 2021

Proverbs 20:6, Proverbs 18:24

Today, I want to talk to you about this truth: all human relationships have limits. I think you know that, but I think we sometimes forget it in the heat of relationships. Sometimes we put too much on people. We want people to meet needs they can't meet. We want people to love us in ways they can't love us. We want people to be something for us that they can't be, and the problem is not them. The problem is in our expectations. Relationships are important, you have to have relationships. The worst thing you can do to a human being is to put them in solitary confinement in prison. But you have to realize that relationships have limits. You say, "But Vince, if relationships have limits and I have love-needs, and they can't meet my love needs, then where do I turn?" You turn to the lover of your soul, to God, to Jesus Christ.

I get that from a couple passages in Scripture from the book of Proverbs, that great relational handbook. Proverbs 20:6 says this, "Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is really faithful?" The proverbs writer is saying what we have said before, which is that you have very few close friends. But this passage is also implying that there are limits to what people can do to meet your needs. Then, Proverbs 18:24 says this, "A man of many companions may come to ruin." Remember, we said companion are close friends. You can't have too many close friends.People will say that you can't have enough good friends, and I understand that, but you can't have too many people that are close friends because it's just physically impossible. And the text even says that if you do that, you'll just come to ruin because you're getting pulled in too many different directions.

The rest of that verse says this, "But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Nobody knows for sure. But this seems to be proverbs doesn't necessarily do this a lot. But it seems to be a foreshadowing of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is our brother. He's our father, he's the Son of God, he is our Savior, but He is also our brother in a certain sense. He is the lover of our soul, and he will love you in a way that no human being can. Are you making sure that your most important relationship needs are being met by Jesus Christ and not by human beings? Because humans can't do it. And they'll let you down and they'll hurt you not because they're intentionally doing it, although sometimes they do, but because they can't. Only Jesus Christ can. Are you letting Jesus Christ love you? You know, to become a Christian is the way you start letting him love you. And if you are not yet a Christian, you can't experience the love of God. When you say, "Jesus Christ, you are God. Jesus, I am a sinner, I sin, I mess up, I make so many bad decisions that hurt you, others myself, my family," and when you believe he died on the cross in your stead, in your place for your sin, and you receive him into your life by faith alone you become a Christian. Then you have his love, then you have the love of God. And you will have your deepest love needs met through Jesus Christ. You need your human love needs met, but there's a limit to that. Jesus Christ is infinite. And he'll meet your deepest needs in ways you never dreamed possible, because he's the lover of your soul.

Father, I pray that anybody who has over-relied on a relationship to meet their deepest needs, I pray that they would desist from that and turn to you. And if they haven't turned to you for the first time, I pray they would do that now. Just communicate what we just said and how you're our only hope. For those of us who already have, help us to stop over relying on relationships to meet our deepest needs and to turn to you. God, just meet our deepest love need. We pray this in your son's name. Amen.

By Pastor Vince DiPaola

Jun 07 8:07 AM

Not Everyone is a Close Friend

Jun 07 8:07 AM

Monday, June 7, 2021

We don't always do relationships so well. If we are great at relationships, then why is the world such a mess?

Monday, June 7, 2021

Proverbs 12:26, Proverbs 19:2

Relationships are super important. I have found more and more that people need biblical help on relationships. We don't always do relationships so well. If we are great at relationships, then why is the world such a mess? It's a mess, in part, because people struggle with how to relate to each other. So today, I want to talk to you about this truth. This is a little bit of a challenging truth, it's going to challenge your views on relationships. Here it is: Not everyone is a close friend. You know, there are three levels of relationships. You have acquaintances, friends, and close friends. I would define a friend as somebody who you might see semi-regularly, you can share a little bit with them, and you remember things about each other. Close friends, or companions, are really tight relationships. Here's what I want to say. Sometimes you can treat an acquaintance like a close friend and you get in trouble. Or you can treat a friend like a close friend, or a companion like an acquaintance. You have to know and correctly define your relationships. Not everybody is a close friend. In fact, here's what I want to warn you. I believe this because I have found this to be true. You have fewer close friends than you realize. We tend to think we have lots of close friends, but they're not as close as you think. I think you have less close friends. I think most of us have less super close friends than we think. There are exceptions, of course. Where do I get that from? Here's a couple passages of Scripture that speak to this from the book of Proverbs.

Proverbs 12:26, "A righteous man is cautious in friendship." Why is a righteous man cautious in friendship? Because not everybody is a companion or a good friend. They might be a friend, they might be an acquaintance, so you're cautious. Remeber that you have to pace relationships. Don't go too fast. Don't go 10 miles when the first time you meet somebody you should only go 100 yards. Here's another one - Proverbs 19:2 says, "Zeal without knowledge is not good." In other words, you may be zealous for a relationship, but if you don't know that person, it doesn't work out. By the way, that speaks of anything. Zeal without knowledge in any area of life is not good. So who are your closest friends? Are you sure they're your closest friends? Who are your friends, or your acquaintances? You probably have no more than 5 to 10 really, really close friends. I heard one person say that a close friend is someone you call at three in the morning with something you need to talk about, and not one time in that conversation do they say, "Do you know what time it is?" That's when you know you have a close friend. So, just be careful with your close friends. Not everybody is a close friend. Don't expect to have massive numbers of close friends. By definition, a close friend is a small, tight knit group.

Let's pray. Father, it's so important that we understand our relationships. And it's so important that we understand that not everybody is a super close friend. We may wish it, we may want it, but it takes two to form a close relationship. Help us to know who those close relationships are with, and who they are not with. Help us to accept that. Someone we thought was a close friend is just a friend, or someone we thought was a friend is just an acquaintance. God, help us to be pleasantly surprised that a friend was really a close friend who loved us more than we ever realized. Help us to discern that and accept the close friends you've given us, and to do everything we can to be close friends back to them. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.

By Pastor Vince DiPaola

Jun 04 8:14 AM

Relationships Are Like Teeth

Jun 04 8:14 AM

Friday, June 4, 2021

Relationships are what life is all about. The people who have the best relationships are always learning how to relate better, and we all can learn to relate better to people.

Friday, June 4, 2021

Proverbs 25:19, Proverbs 17:17

Relationships are what life is all about. The people who have the best relationships are always learning how to relate better, and we all can learn to relate better to people. With the environment we're in, in this world, we need to relate better. So today, I have a profound thought for you about relationships. Ready? Here it is: Relationships are like teeth. What I mean by that is that if you want to have nice teeth, you have to get regular checkups. You know, you're supposed to go every six months to see the dentist. So, first you see the dental assistant, and he goes in there, gets that little metal pick, picks around, flosses you, and then puts the teeth cleaner in there. But then, the worst scary part is when the dentist comes in, because he's looking in your mouth for problems. I've had a few cavities, and as he looks in your mouth, you're praying, "Oh please, Lord, don't let him find a cavity. Even if I have a cavity, don't let them see it." Because if they do, then you have to come back, get it filled, and all that.

Here's all I want to say: If you want to have great teeth, you have to have regular checkups to see if there are any problems. If you want to have great relationships, you have to check up on your relationships. That's why relationships are like teeth. And I didn't just randomly make that up, I get it from the Proverbs. The book of Proverbs has tons of advice on relationships. Look at what Proverbs 25:19 says. It says, "Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble." In other words, if relationships are like teeth, and you want to do checkups, sometimes you think you have a great relationship and it's not. you think that's a strong tooth, but man it's got a massive cavity or a small cavity that you haven't seen. You have to check up your relationships know where your relationship is, do a little trial tests to see how they respond. And you may sometimes find that you have overestimated that relationship.

Here's another one. Proverbs 17:17, "A friend is loyal always, and a brother is born to help in time of need." One of the great tests of a relationship when you're trying to give a relational checkup is to ask, "When I need help, will they help me?" Now, I have to make sure you're not asking for $10,000 worth of help from a $10 relationship. You know what I mean? You can ask way too much from a young relationship, but if you ask a reasonable amount from someone you think is a reasonable friend, their response is really going to tell you where the relationship stands. It's so important that you check up on your relationships. You need to find ways to assess and ask, "Is this a solid relationship? Or is this a cavity relationship?" It's really important because sometimes we make mistakes, and we all will, but you don't want to over-rely on a bad relationship, it can really mess you up. So check up on your relationships. How's your relationship with your family, your neighbors, your children if you have them, your parents, your spouse, etc.? Check up on those relationships. If you need to make some improvements, great. If they need to make some improvements and they can't, understand it and know what you got. If they can make improvements, know you got a really good friend.

Let's pray. Father, thank you for the reminder that relationships are like teeth, and we need to rely on the right ones, not the wrong ones. Help us to know how to give ourselves relational checkups like our dentists knows how to check our teeth for cavities. Help us have the discernment to know who we can rely on, and who we shouldn't in our relationships. In Jesus' name. Amen.

By Pastor Vince DiPaola

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