MAY 4, 2023

LAKESHORE FRIENDS—

When the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus came out a number of years ago, I never read it.  In all honesty, I didn’t have to because the title alone said enough that I got the big idea.  It made clear to me what we all kind of knew already, namely that when men and women date and marry, they each have some very unique needs that are different from each other.  And these differing needs are not just a case of differing personalities (which do also play a part), but simply the fact of them being male and female.  It’s that simple. 

Yes, men and women both want to be loved, valued, and cared for, but they have very different ways in which even these common needs are met.  Men don’t see love exactly like women see it.  Women don’t desire care the same way men desire it.  It’s just a gender thing.  Add to this that men and women each have a very unique set of needs that are more important for one and not so important for the other and you see how challenging marriage can be. 

All the research proves this is the case.  It’s the way God made us in the beginning.  He made men and women different in so many ways— not so that we would compete and fight, but instead so that we would complement each other and thrive. 

"IT'S THE WAY GOD MADE US IN THE BEGINNING."

That’s what we’ll be covering over the next two weeks in our Marriage Matters series, starting with what men wish women knew about them.  For Mother’s Day, we’ll look at what women wish men knew about them.

I hope you’ll be here with friends who want to understand how to relate more effectively with the opposite sex and particularly in dating and marriage.  I promise that this will be a helpful message for those who do attend.

Warmly,
Vince

APRIL 27, 2023

LAKESHORE FRIENDS—

When it comes to the subject of sex, what do most people think of?  If the news, social media, advertising, TV programming, Hollywood, and culture (to name just a few) are any indicators, then it isn’t very good, is it?

The message from most of the places we hear from is abundantly clear and redundantly nauseating.  They say that there are very few limits on what you do with it, who you engage in it with, or what the relationship is between the people involved.  All that matters, according to the culture, is that it satisfies you in the moment.  No need to worry about the other person, tomorrow, or right and wrong.  That really doesn’t matter to many in our culture.

How’s that working for our world?  Well, as a result, a large percentage of children grow up without fathers or mothers in their lives.  Society is filled with hurting, regret-filled people who walk with an emotional limp as a consequence (especially women, but not exclusively).  People deal with life in broken homes, with broken hearts, and with broken hopes.  “Free sex” is never as freeing as it first promises.

"GOD CREATED SEX FOR OUR ENJOYMENT WHEN WE PRACTICE IT EXCLUSIVELY BY HIS GROUND RULES."

How far our world has drifted from the beautiful and sacred thing that God created.  God created sex for our enjoyment when we practice it exclusively by His ground rules.  That takes discipline, courage to stand up to the “everybody is doing it” mindset, and perseverance to wait on the right timing of God.  When we do all of that, then we can enjoy sex to the fullest.  And if you want proof of that, read the Old Testament book of “Song of Solomon”.  Wow!

I’m so glad there is forgiveness, grace, and recovery for any one of us who has tried to do it their own way to the exclusion of God’s way.  But how much better things would be if we just listened to the directives of the Creator of sex...

This Sunday, I will tackle this subject.  I have no axe to grind, or finger-pointing in this message.  I only want to help all of us see the beautiful standard that was set from the beginning so that no matter where we are, we can live there, even if it is very counter-cultural.

Trust me, this will be a great service to invite those you have invested in, whether that is family, friends, coworkers, or neighbors.

Warmly,
Vince

APRIL 20, 2023

LAKESHORE FRIENDS—

One of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your life— maybe the second biggest after the decision to become a Christian— is whether to get married or to stay single (or to remain single after you’ve lost a spouse for whatever reason).  Your decision will have life-changing consequences for yourself, the other person you get married to, and the world around us.

Marriage will impact you in a major way because now you’ll be living for both yourself and for the person you marry.  That’s because you will be called by God to pursue intimacy with another person who is likely very different than you and also fairly imperfect like you too.  The “two becoming one” process will take hard work, but it can lead to great joy personally and to children born into the loving context of marriage, as God designed.

Being or remaining single will also impact you in a major way.  You’ll be living on your own and with your own desires in mind.  That’s because you will be called to a lifestyle that does not involve the “one flesh” intimacy that only comes in the context of marriage (at least, when it is done God’s way).  It will take discipline and individual determination, but it can lead to great joy as well for reasons that are somewhat different than the married person might find.

So which is better for you?  Which one does God prefer?  Is one better than the other?  The answers in the Bible may surprise you.

One thing I absolutely do know is that God wants us to seek Him and His will in this decision.  Because it is the second biggest decision we can ever make.

Warmly,
Vince