If you’re like most people, the calm—sometimes too calm—days of Covid have slowly been replaced by the full—sometimes too full—days of normal life.
With school and sports just around the corner, we’re bound to get even busier.
Enter: the seven hacks we all need to keep calm in the middle of calendar chaos. Give these tips a try and share your own favorite scheduling hacks on our Facebook page or Instagram account. We’d love to learn from you!
Put Your Calendar on Display
You know that twinge of anxiety you get when a waiter takes your order but doesn’t write anything down? We accept a similar risk when we store upcoming plans in our head—and even when we keep them to ourselves on paper. Share the wealth of knowledge with your family by putting your schedule on a calendar—go big if you can—and displaying it for everyone to see.
Utilize the Power of Color Coding
Embrace your inner middle schooler by grabbing some highlighters, washi tape, pens, or markers in different colors and applying a system of sorts to your scheduling. You might give each family member a color or divide colors by activity type: red for sports practice and games, green for school-related events, and blue for family outings.
Hold a Monthly Family Meeting
Gather your whole crew together at the start of each month to chat about how things went last month. You might ask: What’s going well? What needs to change? Are you feeling fulfilled with the pace of your days or are you feeling stretched too thin? Then talk about what’s to come. Fill in your calendar with known plans and discuss things you’d like to do or need to do in the coming weeks. Encourage everyone to participate in the conversation.
Set Aside Ten Minutes Each Week for a Check-In
You can involve the whole family in this check-in or, if you have young kids in the mix, just include teens and adults. This is your opportunity to avoid any confusion or assumptions over the big five: who, what, when, where and how. Quickly review your schedule for the next seven days to make sure all of your logistics are covered.
Limit Extra-Curricular Activities
A family with just one kid includes three people and, let’s be honest, even three people can accumulate a busy enough schedule to stress out the most type-A folks among us. It may sound harsh, but consider limiting sports and extra-curricular activities to one (maybe two) commitments per person each season. This will give your family some room to breathe and allow each individual space to think creatively and try out new hobbies and interests along the way.
Create a System to Stay on Top of Chores
Committing to activities outside the home sometimes means our house itself begins to suffer. That’s pretty normal (please tell us it’s normal!) but it can make those precious times at home with family a little less fun. Instead of cramming chores on your one free weekend of the month, establish a daily plan for tackling chores in small doses so nothing gets out of hand. You might do a daily ten-minute tidy, where everyone pitches in to straighten up before bed, or assign each family member a room that needs to be cleaned—top to bottom—by the end of each week.
Create and Protect Sacred Times
Consider your calendar and the personality of your family to settle on a sacred time when you can all be together without the distraction of daily life. Maybe you’ll do pizza and a movie on Friday nights. Or perhaps you’ll declare the first Saturday of the month an adventure day—hike, bike, and explore for the morning, followed by a family picnic. Protect these moments whenever you can. Because, trust us, life will only get busier and the time you spend together will become that much more precious.
Do you have an easy and effective hack for managing the family calendar—and all the craziness that goes with it? Share your ideas on our Instagram account or our Facebook page. We can’t wait to hear from you!
By Parent Cue
Published on Thursday, January 12, 2023 @ 5:56 PM EDT
2022 was… a year? Yeah, that sounds about right. It was a year.
A year where we had big successes as parents and maybe a few moments that felt like failure too.
A year where our kids grew into the next shoe size and we found ourselves wishing that time would slow down.
A year where we learned to embrace change, hold onto what is true and find the good in every day.
As you reflect on the ways that 2022 shaped you, here’s a few lessons that this year brought to the Parent Cue team.
Lessons On Parenting
A change of scenery is a great reset—going outside, getting in the bathtub, or moving to another part of the house helps diffuse big feelings or tension. – Leah Jennings
Watching your child struggle with something you struggle with; and realizing, in that moment, that the affirmations or encouragement you offer is as soothing to you as it is to your kid. – Joanna Easley
I continually have to remind myself of my kid’s age. When she hurts my feelings or completely blows me off, I have to remember the phase she’s in. She’s still learning how to be a human. And it’s my job to model that with grace and empathy. (With a side of constructive feedback.) – Elloa Davis
The urge to rescue your kid is so strong, but realizing that their moments of forgetfulness or recklessness are real opportunities to build character. The road to responsible adulthood begins now. – Daniel De Jesus
We had a rule with our kids this year to say yes 5 times to every No we said. it added a ton of fun and less tension around the barage of questions that would normally be a no. – Mitchell McGhee
On the hardest days of parenting, load everyone into the car for a Starbucks drive-thru run. Cake pops, coffee and fresh air are a healing combination. – Jules Kim
The only thing my preschooler will willingly share is germs. – Joanna Easley
Lessons on Change
My son is turning 18 on the last day of 2022 and is a senior in high school. I’ve spent this year thinking about all the lasts that we will experience with him as a child: the last swim meet, the last track meet, the last first day of school with his younger sister, the last this, the last that…I think so much about it that I forget all about the firsts that are sure to come. The first professional job, the first apartment, the first car he buys, his first (if he chooses) child, just to name a few. Parenting doesn’t stop just because they turn 18 and I’m learning that all the work and love and the lessons learned these last 18 years are all in preparation for my relationship with an adult child. While the lasts are bittersweet, I’m ready for a new season of firsts! – Christine Posadas
The human experience isn’t meant to be rigid and stagnant. Even core values have the potential to evolve. – Joanna Easley
It’s okay to find a new church. Whether for the sake of yourself, your kids, your new spiritual journey, or all the above. – Jamal Jones
This year we had to forego our usual Thanksgiving lunch… and it was lovely. When family holidays start shifting every year, it can be hard to anticipate those changes, but sometimes all those shifts added together change the structure of the holiday to let you celebrate more sincerely. – Elizabeth Hildreth
Lessons on Community
When our daughter died, I learned how powerful a community can be. In this season, “our people” have shown up over and over and over to keep us going. Some brought food. Others sat with us. Some cried with us or said “I’m mad at God with you.” And all of it mattered more than they probably know because they were WITH us. Whether our kids are living or not, I think every parent will have times when we need someone to just be “with us.” – Crystal Chiang
Sometimes, community doesn’t come to you like it does for everyone else. Sometimes, you have to cultivate the exact community you want. – Leah Jennings
The nurturing power of other like-minded adults in your kid’s life is real. Sometimes a kid or teen just needs someone outside their home to open up to, seek advice from, or process hard things with. The challenge for us as parents is to support these relationships, and not feel threatened by them. – Elloa Davis
One of the greatest gifts I can give to my kids is investing my time to build a community for our family that will love them, cheer them on and support them for many years to come. – Jules Kim
Lessons on Life
Even though I’m a parent, I’m still someone’s child. Regardless of whether or not I’m consciously aware of it in the moment, my children watch me be that child. My children even mimic me being that child. It’s an honor to have my parents around, yet it also comes with a great responsibility of teaching my children how to love and respect the elders among us. – Candice Wynn
Sleep is definitely one of my favorite hobbies. (I think I keep relearning this.) – Elizabeth Hildreth
Give all of your feelings—not just the pleasant ones—your attention. You can’t process and “get over” anything until you acknowledge it. – Leah Jennings
I learned Time is a thief: don’t let it steal from you saying yes and enjoying what lies ahead. – Mitchell McGhee
I always forgot that I had the ability to capture a moment at anytime with the click of a button on my phone. It was this year I decided to take pictures of the mundane moments, regardless of how pretty or insignificant the time felt, I took pictures to share with my future self instead of my instagram feed. Life really is full of phases, and I don’t want to miss any of it, especially the ones that feel a little bit mundane. – Maddie Gorman
I learned that, for me, self-care isn’t about relaxing spa nights… it’s the discipline of doing the right things to keep myself, my kids and my relationships at their best. – Jules Kim
Privacy is a luxury. We live in a world of over sharing now, so to choose privacy is counter cultural. I’ve learned that unhealed trauma or unaddressed issues (which as humans we all have from time to time) can lead to oversharing on social or in conversations and that it’s okay and good to take a step back and do some inner work before re-engaging. – Daniel De Jesus
I learned that work life balance is better when I choose the people around me over my production. – Mitchell McGhee
By Parent Cue
Published on Thursday, December 22, 2022 @ 5:16 PM EDT
Enjoy family traditions or come up with activities that can become traditions to draw your family closer together during the Christmas season
Christmas is a wonderful time to grow closer to family and friends. One way to do this is through enjoying family activities and traditions together. A tradition is anything that your family does each year. They might be passed down from ancestors or made up on the spur of the moment. Regardless, these activities are meant to help people of all ages enjoy each other and the season.
Toddler-Friendly Tree
My husband and I put unbreakable ornaments on the tree when our kids were toddlers. We wanted the tree to be a symbol of the peace of Christ, so we made sure our interactions with the toddlers were peaceful. We didn’t block off the tree or scold our children to leave it alone. When my daughter pulled off the little stuffed-bear ornaments multiple times, I smiled and put them back up again.
© 2020 by Amber Bulk
Christmas Stargazing
We took advantage of the darkness one December evening and went outside with our children—ages 4, 14 and 16—for star viewing. My oldest shared his telescope with his siblings, who took turns searching for the brightest star. We named it the Christmas Star, took turns admiring its beauty and talked about the star at Jesus’ birth. It was a peaceful Christmas moment as we huddled near one another, looking up in quiet awe.
© 2020 by Carrie Nelson
An Unfinished Present
One year I learned that even a Christmas gone awry is still a time for celebration. That year I tried to paint sets of peg dolls for my children for Christmas. Even though I worked into the wee hours night after night, I finished only eight of the 20 that I had planned to make. I thought the kids would be disappointed, but they had a more exciting time watching me paint the remaining dolls. Remembering that experience has helped take the pressure off of having the “perfect” Christmas experience.
© 2020 by Cassi Griesbach
Traditions That Fit Your Family
I’ve always loved our Christmas traditions, but in the past, instead of using them as a framework for celebration, I used them to measure the value of Christmas — how “perfect” our family’s holiday looked to others. I realized that our traditions were for our benefit, not others. Ideally, they should build up family members, focus on what Jesus did or model His love. So I took an inventory of our Christmas traditions to decide which ones to keep. As I did, I asked myself the following three questions:
- Is the tradition Christ-centered? Traditions can help emphasize the meaning of Christmas year after year, beginning with young children and continuing as they grow. After all, what works for young children (a “Happy Birthday, Jesus” party) can be tweaked and used for older children (a “Happy Birthday, Jesus” cake).
- Is the tradition fostering relationship? A good tradition will draw my children into deeper relationships with other family members. If children fight or complain all through an activity, or by the end of it we feel like saying, “Merry stinking Christmas,” then that tradition isn’t meeting the needs of our family.
- Is the tradition building cherished memories? The joy of a tradition can leave an imprint of God’s love in the memory of a child. Traditions focused on family become precious memories that our children can carry with them into adulthood.
© 2017 by Catherine Grace
Over-the-Top Presents
My husband and I give our Christmas presents in different ways each year. One year, we didn’t put them under the tree until the night before. Another, we used a coded number system on the gift tags. But then one Christmas we stopped because we thought our children were getting too old for these games.
That Christmas morning, I awoke to find our presents duct-taped to the walls and ceiling. Our son chose to continue our let’s-have-fun-with-the-presents tradition and worked on it in the middle of the night. His younger sisters thought it was hilarious.
by Danielle Pitzer; © 2017 Focus on the Family
Neighborhood Nativity
I love sharing a favorite Christmas tradition from my childhood with my own children — a neighborhood Nativity play. Each year we invite the neighborhood kids to join us in dressing as Bible characters from the story of Christ’s birth: angels, animals, shepherds and kings. The oldest child narrates. Our annual production takes place in the front yard with an inflatable Nativity scene as the backdrop. After the play, we celebrate with a birthday cake for Jesus and a brunch with all the kids’ families. I treasure sharing the Gospel with our children and neighbors.
© 2014 by Jennifer Cook
Symbols of Christmas
Sally Lloyd-Jones, author of The Jesus Storybook Bible, encourages parents to allow their children to help decorate for the celebration of Christ’s birth.
“I love to involve children in the excitement of Jesus’ coming,” Sally says. “God’s people waited for Him, and in Advent we’re waiting, too. We’re getting ready for Him; we’re preparing our homes and our hearts for Him.”
Consider relating biblical symbolism and stories to items you use while decorating the tree. As you string the lights, you might remind your kids that Jesus is the Light of the World. The star on the top of the tree represents the star that led the wise men to where Jesus was born. Here are a few additional insights to share while decorating together:
- Christmas tree – Evergreens don’t lose their greenery. These trees can be symbolic of something that doesn’t end and compared to eternal life.
- Angel ornaments – God sent His choir of angels to proclaim the Good News to the shepherds.
- Gifts – The greatest gift of all is Jesus Christ. God sent His only Son to pay the price for our sins.
© 2009 by Focus on the Family; written by Andrea Gutierrez
The Stocking Tradition
As I stitched an angel design on a Christmas stocking for our newborn daughter, she slept peacefully in the bassinet. I wondered, “Would this stocking, filled with toys and goodies, diminish the meaning of Christmas?”
I prayed for guidance. My husband and I wanted to instill faith in our five children. We did not want our children to get caught up in material things. I grabbed my Bible, flipped the pages and started reading about Elizabeth and Zechariah. I read where Elizabeth’s unborn baby leapt in her womb as she greeted Mary, pregnant with Jesus, and my own heart leapt with an idea.
If I wanted God’s Holy Spirit to fill us, why not compare the filled stockings to how God fills our lives with good gifts? Months later, as Christmas approached, we prepared for a new tradition.
During Advent, we read about Elizabeth’s joy at the upcoming birth of Jesus. We shared with our children how we wanted them to be filled with joy and that we had a new surprise in store for that year.
On Christmas Day, holding our stockings filled with fruits and treasures, we gathered around the tree. We asked everyone to share how the surprises we had carefully chosen reminded them of God’s love and the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
Becky held up a watch and said, “Look, my watch tells time. God loves me all the time!”
James pulled a toy car out of his stocking and said, “God goes with me in our car.”
Sometimes we puzzled over how an item could help us think of God — especially when each child received the same gift. I remember laughing after the fourth banana was pulled from a stocking. Our creativity was definitely stretched on those! Yet the moments of laughter and sharing helped us keep God in our celebration.
Over the years, we kept the tradition, and as the children grew, the comments changed, adding more depth. Last Christmas we received a gift in return. Our daughter Darlene’s fiancée joined in our Christmas stocking tradition. Darlene exclaimed, “I can hardly wait until we have children and celebrate this custom with our own family.”
© 2004 by Karen H. Whiting
Updating Our Traditions
My kids enjoyed our family’s Christmas traditions when they were younger, but as they reached their late tween years, these traditions no longer seemed quite as fun to them. My husband and I decided that it was time for a change because we wanted our children to enjoy celebrating Christ’s birth. We adjusted our traditions so our kids could take more responsibility and play a larger role in them.
New Christmas ornaments. Instead of buying ornaments for each child, I gave my kids a budget and let them purchase their own ornaments. Sometimes my kids spent weeks hunting for the perfect ornament that represented something from the past year.
Christmas cards and letters. Instead of picking one family photo for our Christmas card, I had my kids choose a few favorite photos from the past year. They also wrote their own section for the family letter. (All with parental veto power, of course.)
Christmas tree. Instead of an exclusive family trip to the Christmas tree lot, we let our kids invite friends to traipse along to choose our tree. Afterward, we hosted a decorating party that included hot chocolate and treats.
Gifts for the needy. Instead of choosing a Christmas service project for the family, my husband and I allowed our children to pick someone or an organization to bless, such as Samaritan’s Purse or The Salvation Army. They earned money doing odd jobs or recycling to pay for their personal project.
I knew that these traditions would need to be readjusted again as my kids grew older, but these small changes demonstrated that I recognized their growing maturity.
© 2015 by Marian Fritzemeier
By Focus on the Family
Published on Thursday, December 15, 2022 @ 5:27 PM EDT
In the movie Home Alone, parentless Kevin McAllister’s situation is what kids’ dreams are made of. After he is accidently left behind by his family as they are leaving on their Paris vacation, he experiences every kid’s wildest fantasy: he eats candy for breakfast, watches the movie he wasn’t allowed to see, sleeps in late, and goes wherever he wants whenever he wants. Kevin is completely free and doesn’t need anyone else, or so he thinks. The Wet Bandits ruin his dream, making Kevin realize he needs salvation, which then comes from the most unlikely of sources. Old Man Marley is not supposed be the hero of the story. He is the outcast, the scary one, the neighbor whom nobody thinks is worth anything, until he is needed the most.
For teenagers, Kevin’s story reflects the gospel in more ways than one. First, Kevin truly believes that he would be better off if he didn’t have a family to tell him what to do all of the time. He thinks that he doesn’t need rules because he knows what is best for himself. This attitude started with Adam and Eve in Eden; they thought didn’t really need the boundaries God put in place, but that they knew what they needed better than God did. Humanity has behaved this way ever since.
Secondly, Kevin’s general do-it-yourself attitude can be equated to spiritual blindness. In an effort to protect his house from the bumbling Wet Bandits, Kevin goes it alone, believing that all of his own know-how and preparations will be enough to beat the criminals. He could easily call the police, but his own pride and arrogance cause him to believe that he doesn’t need anyone else to save him. His plan works for a little while, but he is blind to the fact that he doesn’t have what it takes to overcome them on his own.
Pride and arrogance cause spiritual blindness. The general human condition is to think we can be good enough on our own, that we can figure out our “battle plan,” and be good enough so that God accepts us the way we are. We think don’t need God because we can do life on our own. Our teenagers struggle with this every day. They believe that they can be good enough, go to church enough, be kind enough, read their Bibles enough, and just generally be a good enough people so that they don’t really need Jesus.
When Kevin’s luck runs out and his best laid plans fail, he realizes how much he needs someone outside of himself to save him. This is when the plot twists and the unexpected happens. Kevin’s savior isn’t who he might expect it to be.
Old Man Marley is more Christ-like than he appears. He is misunderstood, misrepresented, and looked down upon. Jesus, too, was rejected by his own people, a man of sorrows acquainted with grief, and someone who others looked down upon (Isaiah 53). Marley isn’t the savior that Kevin is expecting or wanting. But in the end, he is the savior who comes through for Kevin when he needs help most.
We all like to think that we can save ourselves. We think that we are in control of our own lives and don’t need Jesus because we can handle everything on our own. Kevin thinks that he is big and strong enough to fend off the robbers, but he is never going to be able do it alone. Just like Kevin, we need to realize how truly incapable we are and humbly accept the gracious help that the Lord offers to us.
Praise the Lord that “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14) and that Jesus Christ atoned for our sins on the cross, becoming the “propitiation for our sins” (1 John 2:2) so that we can be adopted into God’s family and have life everlasting. We can’t create a plan that is good enough to cause God to adopt us. We must simply believe in Jesus Christ and what he did for us. That’s it. It goes against every controlling bone in our body, every part of us that doesn’t want anyone telling us what to do. We must realize, just as Kevin does, that we need someone to save us because we can’t do it on our own. Jesus, the incarnate Son of God, is the perfect Savior who loves us, is gracious towards us, and lavishes mercy on those who don’t deserve it.
At the end of the movie, Kevin realizes how good it is to be a part of his family. He realizes how much he missed his family, and that the rules and directions his parents provide for his life actually result in his flourishing. When we are adopted into God’s family, we realize that this is where we always belonged. How sweet it is to be called a son and daughter of the Most High God. We need the loving limits that Jesus provides for our lives, which result in us living life the way God intended for us to live. We can’t do this on our own, we need Christ to give us the ability. All we need to do is ask for help! The hope that Kevin finds when he reunites with his family is simply a reminder of the hope that our teenagers so desperately need to be shown through Christ.
By Matt Brown
Published on Thursday, December 8, 2022 @ 11:32 AM EDT
What if you knew this Christmas would be your last Christmas? I know, I know, it’s not a fun thing to think about, but just bear with me for a minute.
Just what if?
The reason I ask is because we knew. It was Christmas Eve, two years ago, when my late wife (Rachel) and I sat together in a hospital bed, talking with the doctor about where we stood, and coming to the realization that that Christmas would be our last Christmas together.
We knew.
And I’ll never forget the moment that we knew. As we were in the middle of discussing the next steps with our doctor, he just paused and said, “This can wait. This can all wait. This isn’t the most important thing right now. Let’s get you home. That’s most important. Let’s get you home to your kids for Christmas morning.”
Nothing else needed to be said. At that point, we knew what he knew. And though we had already beaten cancer once, it came back. And it came back bad. Cancer can do that. It doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t follow any specific rules. It does its own thing, on its own time, and doesn’t really care who it affects along the way.
As we head into our second Christmas without Rachel, me, our kids, our tribe—we’ve all been affected in some pretty major ways. There is no doubt that it’s different. It’ll always be different. Some of our traditions have changed. Some of the decorations have changed. Heck, most of the things have changed. Because if we are being honest, behind all the presents, the decorations, and all of the food, the holidays are meant to be spent with those we love the most. So when one of those who we love most is taken away, it’s just different.
The holidays have this ability to amplify the relationships we have, or in some cases, we don’t have. For those of us who have lost loved ones, or even for those who just feel unloved, every jingle, every commercial, every mistletoe, every Christmas tree, every billboard, and every Mariah Carey song can be a reminder of what and who we have or don’t have.
Yet each year, many of us forget what (and who) matters most, and instead, we put the weight of the world on our shoulders worrying about all the stuff that doesn’t matter. We have unrealistic expectations for ourselves and everyone around us, and we try way too hard to do way too much.
So, I’ll ask you again. What if you knew?
What if this Christmas was your last Christmas? Think about it for a minute. Your last Christmas Eve. Your last Christmas morning. Your last Christmas tree. The last time you’d get to take your kids to visit Santa. If you knew that everything would change over the next year, what would Christmas look like for you this year?
As I sat down to write this, I began to do what I often do. I began to think about Rachel. And how she handled her last Christmas and also how she’d encourage you today if she could. I think we can all learn a thing or two from her. From the way she lived. From the way she loved. And from the way her story continues to impact us all today.
If she were here, I’m pretty certain she would encourage us all to:
Be more intentional.
Slow down. Step out of the craziness of life and school and work and just be. Be there. Be in the moment. Focus less on perfection and more on presence. Rachel would encourage us as parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, or any adult for that matter, to remember that the number-one gift that kids really want during the season is you. They want your ears to listen to their tales of adventure. They want your eyes to watch them play their made-up games. They want your mouth to encourage them to go for it. All they want for Christmas is you.
Be more generous.
This doesn’t mean buying more stuff. I realize we all love stuff—the newest gadget, nicer car, or bigger house. But as I sat with Rachel that last Christmas, she longed for nothing more than time. More time with her kids. More time with her parents. More time with me. More time with her people. So this season, she’d encourage us to be more generous—not by giving more gifts, but by giving more of our time.
Be more grateful.
It may be the best Christmas present there is—gratitude. It’s a gift you can give and receive at the same time. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about how grateful I am for Rachel—thankful for her choosing me and loving me so well. For making me a daddy, times three. For the way she cared for me and all those who were lucky enough to get to know her. I am grateful today and forever because of who she was.
I think she’d ask us to pause and think about the people we love most. Those you’ll be spending time with this holiday season. Now, imagine life without them. What would you miss about them? What would life be like without them around? Think about their laugh, their touch, the memories you shared, and the stories they’d tell. Think about how grateful you are that they are still here. And with that, she’d smile, and then encourage us to go tell them.
Eat more food.
And drink more wine. She’d tell us to eat the good stuff and to enjoy it all. Forget the diet because life is too short for that tomfoolery. And if you knew Rachel, you’d understand that there’s a really good chance that she’d even quote Scripture to prove her point.
“So go eat your food and enjoy it; drink your wine and be happy, because that is what God wants you to do.” —Ecclesiastes 9:7 (NCV)
So let’s do our best to remember these things this season. And understand that every day is a gift—it’s not a guarantee. No matter how you celebrate the holidays or what you believe the meaning of the season is, celebrate the miracle of being here—of having a chance to love and to be loved.
And then do me a favor, if not for me, do it for Rachel: Take Christmas with you—the intentionality, the generosity, the gratefulness, and the food too. Take it all with you, a little bit at a time, and spread it out all year long.
By Brandon Janous
Published on Thursday, December 1, 2022 @ 6:02 PM EDT