Conflicted And Confused
Defrosting Communication, part 2 of 7
Often when it comes to conflict, people are misunderstood, tension in a relationship is always heightened, and feelings are inevitably hurt. Often the cause for these three symptoms is the poor handling of conflict. While conflict is inevitable, negative consequences of conflict are optional. By relying on the tried and true principles of conflict resolution in Matthew 18:15-20, we will examine principles for handling those times when you feel conflicted with others and confused about how to handle it. When we learn to follow God’s principles of conflict resolution we can defrost any communication problems and develop a growing relationship with the person with whom we disagree.
Download the notes.“Now, dear brothers and sisters, I appeal to you by the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ to stop arguing among yourselves. Let there be real harmony so there won’t be divisions in the church. I plead with you to be of one mind, united in thought and purpose.”
(1 Corinthians 1:10, NLT)
I) CONFUSION: STAGES OF GROWING CONFLICT
1) The ___HEALTHY SOLUTION___ stage.
2) The ___DISAGREEMENT___ stage.
3) The ___COMPETITION___ stage.
4) The ___FIGHT OR FLEE___ stage.
5) The ___DO OR DIE___ stage.
II) CLARITY: STEPS TO RESOLVING CONFLICT
(from Matthew 18:15-19)
1st) Involve ___THE PERSON ONE ON ONE___: Resolve it privately.
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”
(Matthew 18:15)
2nd) Involve __ANOTHER PERSON OF CHARACTER__: Establish facts. (if needed)
“But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’”
(Matthew 18:16)
“Get the facts at any price, and hold on tightly to all the good sense you can get.”
(Proverbs 23:23, LB)
3rd) Involve __OTHER CHRISTIANS TO ASSIST__: Find mediation. (if needed)
“If that person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. If the church decides you are right, but the other person won’t accept it, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”
(Matthew 18:17, NLT)
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
(Proverbs 27:6)
Always) Involve __GOD BY PRAYING WITH OTHERS__: Look up.
“Believe me, whatever you forbid upon earth will [shall have been]..forbidden in Heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will [shall have been].. permitted in Heaven.”
(Matthew 18:18, JB w/ clarification)
“When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.”
(Proverbs 16:7)
Reminder) Involve __YOURSELF ONLY IN YOUR PART__: Be real.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
(Romans 12:18)